Tag Archives: Above the Law (blog)

A Benchslap By Judge Gorsuch. And It’s A Really Good One, Too.

17 Monday Apr 2017

Posted by in 10th Circuit Court of Appeals, 10th Circuit Practitioner's Guide, Appellate Judges, Appellate Law, Appellate Record, Benchslap, Citations to the Record, Immigration Law, Judges

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Benchslap Of The Day: No More Mr. Nice Guy, by David Lat, Above The Law Blog

http://abovethelaw.com/2015/03/benchslap-of-the-day-no-more-mr-nice-guy/

It’s Monday, which makes it a good day for a good old-fashioned benchslap!

Our Judge for today’s benchslap is none other than newly appointed Justice Neil Gorsuch of the United States Supreme Court, back when he was at the United States District Court for the Tenth Circuit. Judge Gorsuch’s opinion is an excellent lesson on the basic elements of a successful appeal. An immigration lawyer ignored the Court’s local rules. A serious mistake, and a thorough benchslap. -CCE

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Appellate Court Benchslaps Trial Judge – Ouch.

25 Friday Nov 2016

Posted by in Appellate Judges, Benchslap, Judges

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Appeals Panel Rips Judge Over One-Minute Decision, by Joe Patrice, Above The Law Blog

http://abovethelaw.com/2016/10/appeals-panel-rips-judge-over-one-minute-decision/

The only thing more stinging than a satisfying benchslap is the cool, crisp bite of a sly insult. The understated quip can often accomplish so much more than the breathless broadside. For example, an opinion reversing the court below that signs off with, ‘next time, we assume you’ll do your job,’ boasts more devastating heft than anything Justice Scalia served up. It’s just so cold.

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Citations In Footnotes? The Debate Rages On.

03 Saturday Sep 2016

Posted by in Benchslap, Citations, Footnotes, Judges, Legal Writing

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Benchslap Of The Day: Don’t You Dare Put Citations In The Footnotes, by David aw LobLat, Above The Law Blog

http://abovethelaw.com/2016/08/benchslap-of-the-day-dont-you-dare-put-citations-in-the-footnotes/

In case you’ve missed it, there is controversy in the legal writing world about whether citations belong in the text or in the footnotes. People in both camps feel strongly about this. These people do not see a lot of gray. You are either doing it right or you’re not. I suspect this Judge has similar inclinations. -CCE

Nobody puts baby in the corner. And nobody puts citations in the footnotes — at least not in this federal judge’s court.

Via the Twitter feed of Ross Guberman, a leading expert on legal writing, comes this benchslap from Judge James K. Bredar (D. Md.) . . . .

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Gender Discrimination During Deposition Earns Judge’s Benchslap.

16 Saturday Jan 2016

Posted by in Attorney Discipline, Benchslap, Depositions, Discovery, Judges, Legal Ethics, Professional Civility, Rules of Professional Responsibility

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Lawyer Receives Stern Benchslap And Amazing Sanction For Sexist Deposition Comment, by Staci Zaretsky, Above The Law Blog 

http://bit.ly/1RNcs34

As we’ve thoroughly documented in these pages, women who practice law are often subjected to demeaning and degrading comments from their male colleagues, for no other reason than because they’re women. One federal judge had finally had enough of this type of disrespectful behavior, so he took a lawyer to task for making a sexist remark during a deposition. . . .

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Failure To Follow Court Rules Earned This Fed Up Benchslap.

23 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by in Appellate Law, Bad Legal Writing, Benchslap, Brief Writing, Citations, Court Rules, Courts, Issues On Appeal, Judges, Legal Writing

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A Lawyer Way Out Of Her League Gets Benchslapped By Frustrated Judge, by Kathryn Rubino, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/o9hk847

The case did not seem suspicious. A commercial painter claimed he had not been paid for work hired by a building manager. The lawyer took the painter’s case. Unfortunately, under oath, her client admitted that he had faked his evidence with forged invoices.

No one was surprised when the trial court imposed sanctions. The surprise came when the lawyer appealed the case with a badly written brief. The lawyer only made it worse when she submitted her corrected brief to the Court. The judge’s response is a classic benchslap. -CCE

If You Don’t Need It, Don’t Plead It.-

03 Tuesday Nov 2015

Posted by in Bad Legal Writing, Legal Writing, Pleadings

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Be A Winning Writer, Not A Self-Indulgent One, Starting With Complaints, by John G. Balestriere, Above the Law Blog (with hat tip to Allen Mihecoby, CLAS, RP®)

http://abovethelaw.com/2015/10/be-a-winning-writer-not-a-self-indulgent-one-starting-with-complaints/

‘In law it is good policy to never plead what you need not, lest you oblige yourself to prove what you can not.’ – Abraham Lincoln

We lawyers love to write, at least most of us do (as well we should, since to say it’s a big part of our job is an understatement). But as with all of the work we do, we need to remember our writing has a purpose: any of the writings we submit as litigators to a court or arbitrator must be directed towards winning for our clients.

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Over-Delegation? Something Was Bound To Go Wrong!

22 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in Law Office Management, Legal Ethics, Supervising Support Staff

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Mayer Brown Simpson Thatcher Make Epic Screwup, by Joe Patrice, Above The Law Blog

http://abovethelaw.com/2015/01/mayer-brown-simpson-thacher-make-epic-screwup/

Mistakes happen. It’s why pencils have erasers. But it’s also why law firms install tier after tier of increasingly senior professionals to second-guess every ounce of work product. It’s remarkably effective — and fairly lucrative on an hourly basis.

Unfortunately, the flip side of a tiered system is a tendency toward over-delegation. And that’s how an unwary paralegal ends up costing a bank millions.

era; loaned a good chunk of cash to General Motors as part of a $300 million synthetic loan. It also, in a completely unrelated agreement, joined other lenders in loaning GM $1.5 billion. When GM paid off the first loan, it prepared documents to release J.P. Morgan’s interest in GM property used to secure the $300 million. And that’s when this happened, according to the Second Circuit’s opinion:

A Mayer Brown partner assigned the work to an associate and instructed him to prepare a closing checklist and drafts of the documents required to pay off the Synthetic Lease and to terminate the lenders’ security interests in General Motors’ property relating to the Synthetic Lease. One of the steps required to unwind the Synthetic Lease was -to create a list of security interests held by General Motors’ lenders that would need to be terminated. To prepare the list, the Mayer Brown associate asked a paralegal who was unfamiliar with the transaction or the purpose of the request to perform a search for UCC‐1 financing statements that had been recorded against General Motors in Delaware. (emphasis added)

The paralegal passed the assignment on to one of the dudes in the mailroom and the cheese stands alone. . . .

Federal Judge Uses Benchslap Cartoon To Make Civil Procedure Point.

09 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by in Civil Procedure, Federal Civil Procedure, Jurisdiction

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Judge Uses Cartoons To Benchslap Jones Day, by Joe Patrice, Above The Law Blog

http://abovethelaw.com/2014/12/judge-uses-cartoons-to-benchslap-jones-day/

Judge Robert J. Jonker is a saucy one.

He once shot down Thomas M. Cooley Law’s trumped up defamation claims by declaring that the statement that Cooley “‘grossly inflates its graduates’ reported mean salaries’ may not merely be protected hyperbole, but actually substantially true.” Snap.

So it wasn’t a tremendous shock to see Judge Jonker involved when a recent benchslap kicked off with a cartoon.

Is it the funniest cartoon in the world? No. Indeed, it falls into the Ziggy realm of groan-inducing comics. But is it a special kind of embarrassing when a federal judge feels words are not enough to call out your inappropriate behavior and breaks the judiciary’s largely staid approach to put a comic into an opinion? Absolutely.

So what got him so irked? . . . .

Justice Scalia’s Interpretation of Criminal Statutes And “Rule of Lenity.”

22 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Appellate Law, Civil Rights, Constitutions, Criminal Law, Federal Law, Federal Sentencing, Fourth Amendment - Search & Seizure, Law Enforcement, Research, Statutes, United States Supreme Court, White Collar Crime

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Scalia Weighs In On One of the Most Important Questions in the World of White-Collar Criminal Defense, by Matt Kaiser, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/kahbnvm

Justice Scalia is not a man known for mild opinions. I hear the other Justices have voted him ‘least likely to say ‘this is a question on which reasonable minds could disagree.’

While a conservative, Scalia has done good work for those charged in criminal cases in recent years. He’s been good on Fourth Amendment issues, the Confrontation Clause, and federal sentencing.

And, at oral argument recently, on what is perhaps the most significant criminal justice issue of the day — how broadly we should interpret criminal statutes — Scalia has turned his considerable intellect again in a defense-friendly way.

How, you ask?

Whether to interpret a criminal statute broadly or narrowly is an intricate question. The ‘Rule of Lenity says that criminal statutes should be interpreted narrowly. Yet courts often read in a meta-‘Rule of Lenity’ that says that the Rule of Lenity itself should be interpreted narrowly.

Moreover, judicial review of the scope of a criminal statute is tricky. There are thousands of federal criminal statutes on the books and Congress makes more every year. About 95% of the time, people charged with federal crimes plead guilty. Courts are highly resistant to litigate the meaning and breadth of a federal criminal statute before trial, which means that challenges to the interpretation of a statute are possible in a very small number of cases.

What that means is that prosecutors’ interpretations of federal statutes are highly unlikely to be meaningfully challenged. And, when they are, generally they are interpreted broadly. . . .

Puppy Law Students Are So Cute When They’re Little.

20 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by in Recent Links and Articles

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Shut Up Everybody, New 1L Is Going to Explain How Smart He Is, by Joe Patrice, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/ll2p24f

We’ve all have run into them, regardless of whether the person is a 1L or paralegal student. Thankfully, this stage is often temporary. In some cases, unfortunately, the condition is permanent. -CCE

Pack it in everybody! Mere days into the new year, there’s a 1L out there who has the ‘law’ all figured out. He can isolate the relevant aspects of a case at first glance and his agile mind can dismiss a flawed reading with ease. He’s so prepared that he’s already talking smack about law school graduates. And he did it all on Facebook so we can see how smart he is. We are truly living in blessed times. He will restore balance to the law!

Now, some naysayers would suggest that a 1L a few days into their law school career has no place calling out the work of those who’ve come before as irrelevant and untrue. That perhaps singling out by name a law school graduate and questioning his legal acumen was excessive for a mere pup. Ignore those voices. You can’t silence genius like this. . . .

Bad GPS Is A Defense? Who Knew?

06 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by in Consumer Law, Finance and Banking Law, Foreclosure

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Bank Robs House By Mistake, Refuses To Pay Up, by Joe Patrice, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/mlm78h9

Imagine returning home from vacation and finding your home cleaned out. The thieves grabbed all the furniture, all the gadgets, all the kitchenware, and left you nothing.

That’s what happened to an Ohio woman recently, and the police are refusing to help.

That’s because the perpetrator was First National Bank. Except Katie Barnett was not behind on her payments; the bank just repossessed the wrong house.

Fair enough. Mistakes happen. The bank is going to pay her back though, right? . . . .

Federal Judge Benchslaps Counsel For Discovery Abuse In A Very Special Way.

03 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by in Depositions, Discovery, Federal Rules of Discovery, Objections, Sanctions, U.S. District Court of the Northern District of Iowa

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Biglaw Firm Ordered To Make A Video Apologizing For Discovery Abuses, by Joe Patrice, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/k9srego

Litigators get away with a lot of obnoxious stuff during discovery. For better or worse, the pre-trial discovery phase of civil litigation is every lawyer’s opportunity to relive those times when parents leave kids alone for the first time: every slight, disagreement, and jealousy on a slow boil explodes into anarchic back-biting once there’s no authority figure around to enforce civility. Bring on the mean-spirited letters and smack-talking RFAs.

When it comes to depositions, it doesn’t always reach ‘fatboy’ levels, but a federal deposition isn’t a deposition until someone threatens to call the magistrate — though never does.

Which is why this benchslap, where a federal judge levies a sanction straight out of elementary school, is so appropriate….

Checked Your Readability Score Lately?

28 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by in Bad Legal Writing, Brief Writing, Editing, Legal Writing, Legalese, Microsoft Office, Plain Language, Proofreading, Word

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Expose Your Weakness — Now! by Mark Herrmann, Above the Law Blog

http://abovethelaw.com/2014/06/expose-your-weakness-now/

Think you can write? Do these four things.

First, pull out the last brief that you wrote.

Not that one — that’s the final version, edited by guys who could write. We’re looking for your work, untouched by others. Find the unedited draft that you first circulated. (If you don’t have a draft brief handy, that’s okay. Find the last long email that you sent to someone who matters — to the partner, the client, the general counsel, or the CEO.)

Second, click through this link, which will tell you how to enable Microsoft Word’s ‘readability’ feature on your computer. Enable that feature.

Third, let the readability feature score your work.

Finally, take a handkerchief and wipe the spit out of your eye. (I bet you didn’t realize that a computer could spit in your eye.)

You didn’t notice the spit? Here it comes: Compare your readability score to the average readability score for the works of bestselling authors.

I didn’t even know about Microsoft’s readability feature until I published a column on legal writing last month. I argued in favor of using short sentences and the active voice. A reader — Steve Dykstra, who’s a legal recruiter and budding novelist in Toronto — promptly sent me an enlightening email. Steve also subjected my work — my column on legal writing — to Microsoft Word’s readability test. Steve then told me how my column compared to the work of bestselling authors. . . .

Judge Posner Critique on Structuring Statutory-Interpretation Books.

28 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by in Brief Writing, Case Briefs, Legal Analysis, Legal Argument, Legal Writing, Legislative History, Statutory Interpretation

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Judge Posner on Statutory Interpretation: This Is How We Do It, by David Lat, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/nba842o

[J]udge Richard Posner of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit delivered the Madison Lecture on Judicial Engagement at Columbia Law School. The lecture series, sponsored by the CLS chapter of the Federalist Society, brings distinguished jurists to Columbia to discuss topics relevant to the federal judiciary and the administration of justice.

(Perhaps we should put ‘at’ Columbia Law in quotation marks; Judge Posner actually appeared via video conference. That shouldn’t surprise, coming from a judge who lists The Matrix as one of his favorite films.)

In his talk, entitled ’How I Interpret Statutes and the Constitution,’ Judge Posner was his usual candid self. He offered commentary on two recent books about statutory and constitutional interpretation — books that he’s not a fan of.

Yes, readers. There will be benchslaps….

Do You Write Like A Tool? Here’s One Way To Find Out.

04 Wednesday Jun 2014

Posted by in Bad Legal Writing, Legal Writing, Legalese

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Small Firms, Big Lawyers: 20 Ways to Write Like a Tool, by Jay Shepherd, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/6zxgxy8

Ever see Fight Club? Yeah, me neither. The 1999 Brad Pitt movie was more of a cult film than a commercial success, although it did make back its costs. But the movie did have a line that became something of a meme, and was once recognized by Premiere magazine as the 27th greatest line in movie history (which seems dubious, but whatever):

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

If only lawyers had the same rule.

You see, being a lawyer is like being a member of an elite club. OK, maybe not as elite as we like to think; there are more than a million members in the US. But elite enough. And the problem is, too many of us are dying to show off to others that we’re members of law club. And one of the ways we do it is by trying to sound like a lawyer when we speak, and especially when we write. This is a problem because sounding like a lawyer is the same as sounding like a tool.

I’ve come up with 20 lawyerisms that do nothing to advance the message you’re trying to send, but instead show that you’re a member of law club. And that you sound like a tool.

How many of the 20 do you use? . . .

Making Sense When Writing For Non-Lawyers – It’s Not That Hard.

27 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by in Bad Legal Writing, Legal Writing, Legalese, Readability

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Why Are The Lawyers Pestering Us? Communicating About Law And Compliance, by Mark Herrmann, Above The Law Blog (with hat tip to Raymond Ward, the [new] legal writer blog)

http://tinyurl.com/mu8vg7g

At a law firm, law matters. Law is the center of the institution’s universe, and it’s all everyone is thinking about.

It’s the other functions that don’t matter: ‘Another email from IT? Telling me about interfaces and gigabytes? Why don’t those clowns leave me alone?’

‘Another email from finance hectoring me about time sheets? Don’t those morons know I’m busy?’

At corporations, law (and compliance) is an ‘other function.’ The businesses are concentrating on their businesses, and law and compliance — along with human resources, information technology, and finance — are, at best, a means to an end. If you mirror the other ‘shared services’ and send incomprehensible communications to the businesses, the businesses will soon realize that you’re just one of the pests, meant to be ignored.

Inevitably, if a business person accidentally steps over some legal line, you’ll hear that the business guy had no clue that the line existed: ‘Yeah, yeah. Now that you’re telling me about it, I understand that we have that rule. But how was I to know? The rule is buried on the fourth page of some impenetrable policy hidden somewhere in our computer system. I spend my time selling; I can’t waste time trying to make sense of your legalese.’

If you don’t sympathize with that guy, then you’ve been a lawyer for too long. His criticism is not just an excuse for having violated the rules; his criticism may well be the truth. How can you change that reality? . . . .

Litigator’s Self-Assessment Legal Writing Test.

24 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by in Bad Legal Writing, Brief Writing, Legal Writing, Legalese, Litigation, Trial Tips and Techniques

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Are You A Crappy Litigator? A Self-Assessment Test! by Mark Herrmann, Above The Law Blog (with hat tip to Raymond Ward at the (new) legal writer blog!)

http://abovethelaw.com/2014/02/are-you-a-crappy-litigator-a-self-assessment-test/

Not exactly the words I would choose to make the point, but I agree that the emphasis on short, clear sentences and paragraphs is more persuasive. -CCE

It’s so hard to judge yourself.

Deep in your soul you know that people who criticize you are idiots, and people who praise you are wise and sagacious.

How can you possibly tell if you’re any good at what you do?

I have the answer for you! I’ve created a litigators’ self-assessment test! Now you’ll know if you’re any good!

Here’s how it works: Take out the last brief you filed.

Do it. Now. You won’t learn anything if you don’t follow the rules. . . .

Beautiful Young, Dead Paralegal Found in Bathtub of Attorney Boss Who Has Possible Mob Connections.

17 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by in Criminal Law, Employment Law, Ethics, Grand Jury, Law Office Management, Legal Ethics, Management, Paralegals/Legal Assistants, Social Media, Supervising Support Staff, Using Social Media

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Paralegal’s Death In Boss/Boyfriend’s Bathtub Declared Accidental, by David Lat, Above the Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/k6fafzo

 Last May, a 26-year-old paralegal by the name of Julia Papazian Law was found dead in the bathtub of her boss and boyfriend, prominent Philadelphia defense attorney A. Charles Peruto Jr. The news set tongues wagging in Philly. It had all the elements of a tabloid tale: a beautiful young woman, a wealthy and successful lawyer, and possible organized-crime connections. (Peruto has represented such prominent alleged Mob figures as Joey Merlino and Nicodemo Scarfo.) . . .

A grand jury was convened, conducted an investigation, and concluded there was no evidence that the paralegal’s death was anything but accidental. I saw no discussion or evidence of an investigation of any ethical or employment violations concerning the employer/employee relationship.

After the grand jury’s investigation, the paralegal’s boss used Facebook to reply to the District Attorney in a direct and explicit statement. -CCE  

http://tinyurl.com/lnbb9gh

 

 

How Skillful Are You At Mediation?

16 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by in Alternative Dispute Resolution, Intellectual Property, Litigation, Mediation, U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit

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Beyond Biglaw: Mediation Matters (Part 1), by Gaston Kroub, Above The Law Blog

http://tinyurl.com/kv9d9ag

Mediation. For some lawyers, it is a great way to spend a day; for others, it is an interminable bore, and ineffective to boot. It is easy to imagine that lawyers who have had successful mediation experiences are more likely to fall into the former category than the latter. What is more certain, however, is that mediation skills are increasingly important for a litigator to have, for a number of reasons. . . .

Legal Writing Faculty – It’s Okay To Sweat The Small Stuff.

16 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by in Bad Legal Writing, Citations, Education, Legal Writing, Legalese, Paralegals/Legal Assistants, The Bluebook

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A Law Professor’s Detailed, Thoughtful, and Comprehensive ‘Local Rules’ for Class: A Response to “Above the Law,” Legal Writing Prof Blog (guest post from Louisa Heiny, Adjunct Professor of Law at the S.J. Quinney College of Law of the University of Utah, responding to recent post at Above The Law Blog)

http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/legalwriting/2014/02/atl.html

I used to teach Legal Writing and Legal Analysis to paralegals. Students had to work hard to earn a good grade in those classes. Some students appreciated the emphasis on grammar and punctuation, adhering strictly to court rules and the Bluebook, the eradication of legalese, and the insistence that details matter. Regrettably, not every student felt the same way, and missed the point. There was a reason why the bar was set high for my students. I wanted them to succeed once they were on the job.

If I learned anything from teaching, it was that the majority of students, when challenged, will work hard to meet high standards and expectations set for the class. If a teacher’s expectation are low, the work turned in will be mediocre at best. Both law and paralegal students face tough competition upon graduation. Quality matters more than ever.

It is nice to see that there are still legal writing faculty who set insist on quality. -CCE

I admit it: I read Above the Law. I read it every day. It’s even on my Facebook feed. It’s sometimes snarky, often witty, and has published some of the most ridiculously funny cease and desist letters I’ve ever seen. I use material from Above the Law in class to show students what not to do.

I’ll also admit that when I read the headline in Above the Law, ‘A Law Professor’s Detailed, Ridiculous, Condescending ‘Local Rules’ For Class,’ I panicked. There was a serious possibility that I was about to read my own syllabus. I’m an adjunct, so there was also a possibility that I was about to be fired.

After a moment’s relief that I was not the target of ATL’s ire, I read the article. Written by Joe Patrice, the post skewers the ‘local rules’ created by Santa Clara Law Professor Ray Bernstein for his legal writing class. While my own syllabus isn’t as detailed, Professor Bernstein has created a detailed, thoughtful, and comprehensive set of local rules designed to put students on notice of class requirements, as well as prepare them for the practice of law. . . .

Everyone Knows You Never Question Your Own Witness At A Deposition, Right?

06 Monday Jan 2014

Posted by in Depositions, Direct Examination, Discovery, Evidence, Trial Tips and Techniques, Witness Preparation

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The Need For Direct Exams Of Your Own Witnesses At Depositions, by Mark Herrmann, Above The Law Blog (with hat tip to Evan Schaeffer, The Trial Tips Practice Weblog)

http://tinyurl.com/meqbmh4

Judge Sparks on Fire — Again.

23 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by in Depositions, Discovery, Judges, Legal Writing, Subpoenas, Texas Supreme Court

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Benchslap of the Day: Judge Sparks Burns More Attorneys , by By David Lat, Above the Law

http://tinyurl.com/45y5v3z

Mr. Lat shared this excerpt from the Judge’s Order:

[J]udge Sparks invited lawyers to a hearing that he referred to as a ‘kindergarten party.’ According to the ‘invitation’ — er, order — ‘[t]he party will feature many exciting and informative lessons, including… how to enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates [and] how to limit depositions to reasonable subject matter.’ The event is aimed at lawyers who ‘are unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student.’