Controlling Crowded Sentences, by Judith D. Fischer, Legal Writing Prof, Legal Writing Prof Blog

http://tinyurl.com/kacsecz

In his recent article Controlling Crowded Sentences, rhetorician George Gopen shows how to make Gopen the most of stress positions. He starts with a sample thirty-six word sentence and then revises it six different ways. Some revisions are a bit longer than the original, but Gopen emphasizes that ‘I do not hold with those who advise ‘to make it better, make it shorter.’ Each revision has a different purpose: one places a person in a subordinate role, and another builds empathy for her. The article appeared in the spring 2014 issue of Litigation.